Sally, I really liked your blog...so simple, yet so informing.  I will be your copycat...

July 31, 2008

Outside my window: Heat distorting the road this side of a dried up dirt lot.

I am thinking: about what I will say next that will mess up these last 5 peaceful days

I am thankful: for the last 5 peaceful days and the vacation I'll be taking for the next 7 days

From the kitchen: funny - me cook?  I made soup for Sidney last night and bought breakfast this morning

I am wearing: comfortable wide-legged jeans and my favorite tee I created with two girls in dresses who are fighting

I am creating:  logos for a bee company in El Centro and t-shirts for Rolling R Enterprises, a partial short story memoir, a fine-tuned drummer, and an LPGA golfer

I am reading: Black Widow by Randy Wayne White

I am hoping:  that Sidney will continue to like and do well in her gymnastics classes

I am hearing: The Black Keys

Around the house: our house keeper (thank you Lord for her!) is cleaning right now

One of my favorite things: a good light-hearted chat

A few plans for the rest of the week: pack, work, leave

How About You?

Wow, it's been a very long time since my last entry.  Many things have happened.  I got through Christmas.  Barely.  It pulled me through New Year's, dragging me through the dirt.  Now we're on the down hill slide and I'm starting to feel it.  Christmas was rough.  That's all I want to say about that.  After the new year was even more weird.  That's all I want to say about that, too.  There's just something about putting ideas and thoughts onto paper (or computer) that make them real, too real to relive right now.
A friend of mine died.  She was beautiful.  A sweet kind of heart that wanted to help so many people.  She was a friend, mentor, muse, and teacher to me for many years in high school and in college.  Her spirit was a comforting spirit to me, even though she struggled with many addictions.  After moving back home I saw her often here and there, visited with her.  Listened to her tell me she wanted to get away from it all, to run away from this place and these people.  Later, I found her in a small store, laughing.  She had gone through rehab and was witnessing to those who were struggling with addiction too.  That was four years ago, and the last time I saw her happy.  She left her husband, dug a hole and lived in it.  She put on a good face and smiled.
I didn't keep in touch.  Why?  Was I afraid I'd get wrapped up in my own addictions and fall with her?  Was I afraid I wouldn't do or say the right things?  All I had to do was be there for her, just listen like I had before.  But I was too busy.  Stubborn.  A waste of time.  A waste of Christian love.  I let her go.  I know she's with God now, but I feel so broken.  I didn't do my job for her, she did her job for me.  I dropped the ball and ran away, tail between my legs.
Now she's           gone              and happy, no doubt.
That's all I have to say about that, too.